Fresh SPAM! Getcher fresh SPAM here!

Well, I was drowning in it, and a month behind, so I went Delete! Delete! Delete! and nuked it all. So what I offer today was just was came in Tuesday June 12th.


* From Mr Lamido Sanusi from the Central Bank of Nigeria at mrlamidosanusi49@yahoo.com (return mail mrlamidosanusi11@omail.hu) comes a notice (with *terrible* grammar) that I've been named a part-beneficiary of $10 million! Wow! But wait- two guys showed up to his office claiming to be my representatives, wanting this money I'm getting. Mr Sanusi says "Here are the Document which they tender to this Bank today:

1. LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION.
2. HIGH COURT INJUNCTION.
3. ORDER TO RELEASE."

He told them to come back tomorrow.

Well, it's tomorrow already in Nigeria. Oh well.

Wait, doesn't an injunction usually restrain, rather than release? And What court? A High Court? Was the judge smoking something something?


* Mrs. Grace Manda at gracemanda13@gmail.com (return mail gracemanda14@gmail.com) just says: Mrs. Grace Manda Please open the attached file

...and? Mrs Grace Manda, you'd better open that file! 'Cause I ain't a-gonna!


* Moses Benneth, an account officer with the Islamic Microfinance Bank in Ghana, at mosesbenneth@mail.kz (return mail mosesbenneth@yahoo.com.hk) writes to tell me of a business opportunity of $15 million! Yay! Apparently he's holding a secret account with money that belonged to ousted Tunisian president Mr.Zine Al-abidine Ben Ali. He will give me 45% of it if I help him move the money out of the country.

Won't Mr Ben Ali wonder where it went?

And he wants my driver's license. Dude, no one sees that. Really. I cringe when I have to show it at the bank. You think I'm going to show a perfect stranger in Ghana that?


* John Wilkins at jwilkinsfice@globomail.com (return mail jwilkins.office@gmail.com) says:

This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the United
Nations & Central Bank to pay 50 scam victims 1,000,000.00 Dollars
each.

Apparently they believe I've been scammed by someone in Nigeria. (Nigeria? Not Ghana? Burkina Faso? Indonesia? Hong Kong?...)

 You are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to
him For any reason what so ever as the FBI is already on trace of the
other criminals. So keep it to yourself till they are all apprehended.

Oh.

 We shall feed you with further modalities as soon as we hear from you.

Modalities? Are they tasty? What wine should I serve, red or white?

Oh, and their list of IDs cuts off with "6) Attach scan Copy of your". Copy of my what? Ah... I'm supposed to contact them to get the full list! Niiice...


* "Barrister.Kenneth Oliver,the personal assistance to the late engr.Edward (snr) a national of your country." writes from barristerkennetholiver@yahoo.com (return mail kennetholiver42@freemail.hu) that his client died without a will and he has oooodles of money he wants to give me!

****PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL*****
This e-mail and any attached files are confidential and may be legally privileged. If you are not the addressee,any disclosure,reproduction,copying,distribution,or other dissemination or use of this communication is strictly prohibited.

 Not anymore!


*  "Western Union 2012 Customers Promotion" tk52107@cwjh.tyc.edu.tw (return mail westerncus2@hotmail.com)  says:

We happilly announce to you that you have been awarded with the sum of $5,000,000.00 USD by our office, as one of our customers who uses Western Union in their daily business transaction in 2012.

Wrong address, apparently, as I've never used Western Union. Perhaps just misspelled, like 'happilly'.


*  FROM MR. KENNETH ANDERSON, EGYPTIAN GULF BANK, at aapolini@yahoo.com (return mail kennethanderson_EGB@gmx.com) has a client who died intestate, and... wait, does he know Kenneth Oliver?


* Ma Delun,a staff of Private Banking Services at the Bank of China (BOC) United Kingdom writes from madelun@ta.com (return mail ma.delun10@yahoo.com.hk) that one of his clients... died... oh yeah. He'll give me 50% if I help him sneak this money out.

I think that's the highest percentage I've been offered yet. So if this is all so legal and all Mr Delun, why can't I contact your employer to make sure you're the stand-up dude you say you are?


* Mr John Anderson at smtmnr@wmconnect.com wrote **in the subject line**

I am JOHN ANDERSON Director Inspection Unit United Nations Inspection Agent in Epple AirField International Airport. During our investigation, I discovered An abandoned shipment through a Diplomat from Nigeria.The details of the consignment including your name the official document from United Nation office in London are tagged on the Metal Trunk box.If you want us to transact the delivery for mutual benefit, you should provide your Phone Number, full address,Be happy and respond so that i will give goodnews

 Text said "Read the above for more details and reply immediately"

"Full address... Be happy!" Sounds like a pop tune, eh?


* Mrs. Rebecca Oliver at mrs.rebecca_oliv00000@hotmail.com (return mail mrs.rebecca_oliv0011@hotmail.com) says "Please open the attached file and get back to me."

Let's not and say I did, hmm?


* Mrs Grace Manda must really mean business! She writes this time from gmanda7@gmail.com, return mail mandagrace64@gmail.com. Well, new address or no, I'm not going to open your attachment!


That's eleven in one day. Ain't Shakespeare, but if you put a hundred monkeys... ;-)