So last time I put up only one day's collection of SPAM. Today I will sort through and categorize a few...
1) Are you looking for an investment business opportunity? So are:
* Mr.Chung Mong-Joon at lhde@longan.gov.vn (return mail cmjcmj2222@msn.com), who offers you 40% of the proceeds, and also-
* MR. KENNETH ANDERSON at EGYPTIAN GULF BANK (aapolini@yahoo.com, return mail kennethanderson_EGB@gmx.com) is also offering 40%, AND he'll make sure to wipe all traces of the transaction from the bank's records. Sounds legit, yes?
* Wen Xiong from xiongwen.hk@xinasian.com has an unspecified business deal that is under Chinese banking laws as he is in Hong Kong, please advise if I am interested... Dude, are you offering more than 40%?
* lwang1945@yahoo.com.cn has a deal worth $25 million. I'll bet it involves moving some funding out of a secret bank account...
* patrickfrancis82@yahoo.com says that if I am sincere, he has a business opportunity worth $17 million. "I will prefer you to have acquired knowledge in the medical field or a management position in any industry." Awfully broad there...
* S.Ogier@roehampton.ac.uk has a 'legal business proposal' worth $28.2 million. I should contact private1@xnmsn.com if I'm interested. Why is someone in Roehampton using a return mail in Indonesia if the transaction is legal?
* Mr Bill Stowell at williambillstowell@gmail.com is offering an investment opportunity with 10% return, if I am discreet. Dude, my discretion costs more than 10%! I can get 40% from Kenneth Anderson!
* A 'Barrister Tom Jones' at admin@klhchem.com.my (return mail tj201023@gmail.com) has a client interested in investing in my country. Would I be of assistance? Maybe. 40%, eh?
* Mrs Nora Wong at web.office.8765.99@att.net (return mail mrsnoralwong29@gmail.com) Only says that she has a secured business proposal. Secured? What, so it doesn't wander off? Does she need a bike lock?
* Mr.Suzuki Takuya Yuki writes from Marilyn.Jacobson@alz.org (return mail suzukitaku15@blumail.org) that he has a $40 million business deal. Pfft. Get in line.
* maltman@wakegov.com says "I have a "business suggestion" for you. Please respond via my private email: yisimon980@yahoo.com.hk" In the subject line. No names. And from me- no reply!
* j.treusch@jacobs-university.de is also offering $28.2, for a 'legal business transaction'- also from a Western university, also with an Indonesian return address, this time private00@xnmsn.com. Answer is still no.
* Major Linda Hayes writes from edamoe@aol.com (return mail majorlindahayes3@yahoo.co.jp) that she has an unspecified business opportunity which she will disclose when I've responded. Uh, yeah.
* albertcole@thames.org sends me a nearly incomprehensible page of text, no paragraph breaks, bad grammar, disjointed sentences... as best I can figure out, Thamesbridge Brokers has a really good deal for me... if only I could figure out what!
* Barrister Mrs. Sydney Walter at jrt@fnri.dost.gov.ph (return mail b.sydneywalter@rocketmail.com) also has an unspecified business opportunity for me. I suspect it involves getting money out of a bank without resorting to masks and guns. Same difference.
* Mr. Steven Heal at info@hsbc.co.uk (return mail steheal@yahoo.co.jp) also has an offer, worth $10 million. This one looks like it might require masks however.
* from Mr Johnson Patrick ( johnson_patrick@9.cn) an offer to invest in and help sell pharmaceuticals in India... huh. Don't they usually come from India?
* Mr Mustafa Tamawe (mustafatamawe14@yahoo.com.hk) would like to offer me a business opportunity, but he won't tell me what it is until I contact him for further info. However, he does assure me that it will be to our mutual satisfaction. Well, I don't generally answer complete strangers with vague promises, so I guess I Ain't Got No...
* Richard Ferdinand, procurement manager to SJCM Solid Minerals Bellevue Washington at info@live.com (return mail rich.ferd@blumail.org) has an investment opportunity for me in Malaysia, representing his company 'to purchase Borax Oil Lq,which is use in the purification/cleansing of Gold and Precious Stones'. What, not snake oil?
* 'Robert Smith, Esp' at roberts0100@hotmail.com has an opportunity for investment of $50 million in Hong Kong... Boy, did he write the wrong person!
2) Mail with attachments that I will not open!:
* The FBI wrote TWICE from wscott0621@aol.com, with one return mail statesfbigov@superposta.com, the other wfocdfbiusagov@superposta.com.
* Elizabeth Johnson at johnsonelizabeth751@gmail.com (return mail elizjohnson58@gmail.com) says in the subject line "MY BELOVED FRIEND IN THE LORD, PLEASE OPEN THE ATTACHMENT AND GET BACK TO ME URGENTLY." Elizabeth, you are not my friend, and neither is the interesting attachment you sent.
* 'Canada Lottery' sends an attachment via gowell111@gmail.com (return mail davsgrattan2@gmail.com)... Canada has a lottery?
* Mr Adams Rees at djacks7085@aol.com (return mail arees070@yahoo.co.jp) says "Good day......Open And Read Your Mail" in the subject line. Um... no.
* Terry Dagogo at mshurt1589@aol.com (return mail terrydagogo06@gmail.com) says "RELEASE OF YOUR OVERDUE PAYMENT Kindly get back to me" in the subject line and "Kindly view the memo for more info from Terry Dagogo and get back to me" on the page... wanna bet that memo comes with a secret message for my computer?
* wjwoods1@aol.com, writing for Mervyn King (return mail paymentdesk@banofenglandonline.co.uk.tc) says in the subject line "BOE NOTICE.....Open And Read Your Massage". Really? The Face of Boe sent me a message? And not the Doctor?
* Augustine Dinga (rayhindson@aol.com, return mail augstinedinga_2@yahoo.co.jp) says "Treat As Urgent" in the subject line. Here's the text:
'Regads'? Huh? Is the spelling correction in the attachment?
Good day,
Attached is an important message. Read and promptly respond as soon as possible.Regads
* Mrs Rebecca Oliver at mrs.rebecca_oliv00000@hotmail.com (return mail mrs.rebecca_oliv0019@hotmail.com) writes again to tell me there is a 'DONATION FOR THE LORD (From me to you)' if I will just open the attachment. Think the virus/trojan file is really from the Lord?
* 'Paul John' at webxxxxxxxxxx2678@att.net calls me 'Dear Friend' (No, I don't believe we've met) and simply says "DOWNLOAD BELOW AND CONTACT MR GIBSON"... Is this something like going beyond kissing on the first date?
* Susan Shabangu (susanshabangu1976@hotmail.com, return mail susanshabangucoza@hotmail.com) simply says in the subject line "I DIDN'T FORGET YOUR PAST EFFORT (PLEASE VIEW THE ATTACHED COPY OF MY LETTER AND CONTACT MY BANKER)". Considering how many very wordy things I've gotten in the mail, I don't know why she couldn't just put them in the body of the email. Maybe she couldn't fit the extra malicious code in it?
* "Dr. Ahmed Danfulani Tijani......Open And Read" (rvseven7@aol.com, return mail presidency.ngr@one.co.il) offers an rtf attachment. So, what's that, a 'ready to f---?' file?
* Mrs Hendrietta Zulu (hendzulu65@gmail.com, return mail mrshendzulu@live.co.za) says "I have not heard from you please kindly (view attached document)" Well, you have not heard from me because I have not heard from you prior to this! I am not in the habit of approaching strangers with irregular financial opportunities... <nuke the attachment>
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And that is enough for now! After all of that SPAM, I think some vegetables are in order. Kale, anyone?
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