MOAR SPAM!!!

Lots and lots and LOTS of SPAM!


MAY 16:

* Rtd. Lt Adolf W. Mensah at adolfwilly2@gmail.com (return mail adolfwilly1@hotmail.com) wants me to contact him, as he has come into the possession of $8.2 million in Afghanistan, of which he will give me 35% if I help him get it out of the country. But it's  a secret and his job is in jeopardy... IT'S A SECRET BECAUSE IT'S NOT LEGAL, RIGHT ADOLF? As in NO ONE MUST KNOW?


* Mr Frank Ashley at chikeobi24@yahoo.in (return mail mikehope608@yahoo.com) says that he is ready to send me the first $4500 of $900,000 we've arranged, I just need to send a bunch of personal info, including age, sex, and occupation, to a Mr Pete Williams (not, Mr Ashley, or Mike Hope?).

I haven't heard from him before, and he doesn't know my sex? Must have the wrong person. Whoever this email was meant for, they're missing out on some money...


* Monica Gaziri at moris4oxide@yahoo.com (return mail monicagaziri@yahoo.com) opens her email with "Hi Dear,". Well, it appears that she's 'Lookin' for love in all the wrong places...' dee dee dum dee dum...


* Brent Spearman at Brent.Spearman@utoledo.edu (return mail bukharisahih@yahoo.cn) wants me to contact him about some money that belonged to the late Colonel Khaddafi. Really? I bet he wants me to help him get it out of the country. How someone from the University of Toledo came across it is beyond me...


* Oooh! From the Desk Of United Nation! (Address Officefile@file.com, return mail Asia.B.a.n.k.code@w.cn) They have an ATM card worth $2.5 million waiting for me, if I will please to contact their agent in the Bank of India with a bunch of personal info, of course.

Signed VIP Jimmy Approved Mr Ban Ki Moon United Nation Secretary General Best regards, Officefile

Since when does the United Nations and Ban Ki-Moon do business through OfficeFile?


* Chase Online sent me a message via smrff+accounts+alerts@chase.com says there is an incoming payment on my account, but there is a problem processing it, and I should pit this like that says 'Log On' which sends me to http://www.imaqing.com/images/smilies/login.php . How much you wanna bet they'll ask me for some personal information there, such as my log on and password? How much you wanna bet I'm not going there? Especially since I closed my Chase account last fall...


* "Mr.Almani Saadiq, the Head of files/Recording Department in Islamic Development Bank Burkina faso" at saadiq4101@msn.com (return mail almanl01@voila.fr) is a bank employee who is in possession of some $9.4 million dollars that belonged to a client now deceased. This money is just rattling around unclaimed, and he wants it of course, and is willing to give me 40% if I'll help him move it out of that account. First I need to give him all my personal information. "Like,

Your Name, Age, Marital Status, Cell Phone Number, Your Country, Your House Address, Your Occupation, Sex, Religion, Your ID Card or International Passport and Your Private E-mail Address for full trust.

 My religion? What does being Episcopalian have to do with this?


MAY 17:

* I'm getting a check for $25,000 from UN-HABITAT, at guascormaroc@menara.ma. I need to send all my personal info to Program Manager United Parcel Service (UPS) Contact Name: Abu Morris at upsdelivery34@yahoo.com.hk. With $100 for handling and claimant fees.

Gee. Fees have done up. They're usually $55. Weasels much be getting scarce. Maybe UN-HABITAT is trying to protect them?


* "UNITED NATIONS OFFICE FOR THE COORDINATION OF HUMANITARIAN AFFAIR." at sepp@blueskynet.as has asked me to contact Mr. Victor Okle at vokle@superposta.com, as my payment confirmations are completed for the ATM card worth $900,000. But oops! My Okle is having trouble with his handheld, and has lost his address book. So I need to get in touch with my     personal info...

Personally, if he's that much of a dork as to keep my personal info on a handheld and not somewhere else, I'm not of a mind to give him my personal info again. Maybe they should hang onto that $900,000 to, oh, feed orphans or something?


* "Kim Wong, The Owner of Kim Wong Trading LLC,Kuala Lumpur Malaysia South East Asia" sends greetings from audit_dept@csuissebl.com (return mail k_wong.llc@e-mail.ua) wants to offer me a job laundering money, er, transferring funding, on commission, taking 15% of the cash transferred.

Dude, I can get 40% from 'transferring money' for several other folks. You'll have to sweeten the pot a bit. And do you offer benefits? No deal unless I get medical, dental, and a good retirement package.


* Mrs. Marina Luda, who lives at 108 Crockett Court. Apt 303, New Braunfels Texas, writes from liuzheng@shstj.gov.cn (return mail t_ganichambers@yahoo.cn) to warn me that I've been scammed! I need to contact Barrister Tony Gani in Nigeria with a bunch of my personal info, and he'll help me get my $10.5 million. I only have to pay $250 in fees to do this. Wow. Inflation! Those Nigerian weasels must have really gotten scarce! Does UN-HABITAT know anything about this?


* Mr Ben Smith at mr.bensmithloanfrims02@hotmail.com (return mail mr_bensmith@live.com) is offering loans at 3% from World United Global Loan Organization Online Fast/Easy Loan. Wait- are they the ones who're trying to get money to me through that non-existent Chase account?


MAY 18:

* Another note from Mr. Ben Smith. He must be working on commission.


* Mrs.Inga-Britt Ahlenius at UNITED NATIONS OFFICE OF INTERNATIONAL OVERSIGHT SERVICES, International Audit, Monitoring, Consulting And Investigations Division writes from ingabritt1@skymail.mn that they've discovered that I'm a victim of a scam!

Does this have anything to do with the mail I got from Ban Ki-Moon?


* Susan Shabangu at jgonzalez@aragua.gob.ve (return mail sshabangu.gov@gmail.com) has sent me an attached email. 33.2 KB in RTF. Shall I open it? Uh... maybe not.


* Western Union at postmaster@hd25.info (return mail westernunion_money@ukr.net) has my payment ready! I just need to contact them with my personal info.

Funny, for something that important, you'd think they'd use a Western Union email account.


* Another Western Union letter! This time from sepp@blueskynet.as. They want me to call them... within 4 hours.

Dang.


* Michael Pandor at gvds@8419.cn (return mail m.zuma@blumail.org) has an investment opportunity for me. It is in South Africa, and involves Civil Servants, who apparently can't participate in this deal, so they need me to act in their place. I just need to- all together now- contact them with my personal information...


*  ithelpdesksupport@mail2webmaster.com contacted me to tell me something has gone... wrong... with my email. (How is it that he can contact me then?) I just need to send him my user name and password. For an account that I don't have.

Good luck with that!


* Mohammad Daud Bakar,an executive with the International Institute of Finance,Inc (RUSD) bank malaysia writes from mohammad@linkline.com (return mail bakar.mohammad12@yahoo.com) to offer me a business proposal, the details of which he'll tell me after I send him my personal info.

IIF is a real organization, and Mohammad Daud Bakar really works for them. In the Middle East- not in Malaysia.

I wonder if this business proposal involves money in an account belonging to a deceased client?


***
Gah. So much SPAM! And so much left in my inbox! Can I get through is without a sodium-provoked stroke?