Sunday, April 22, 2012

All SPAM! All sarcasm! And at no extra charge!

All right folks, here is the first post on this here new blog! SPAM was cluttering up my email, and then my everyday blog, so here it goes! Have fun!

***
From mrkuanyin@hotmail.com:

I need your assistance to transfer an abandoned $22.5 Million Dollars from Hong-Kong to your country. You will get more info when i receive a positive reply from you.  Best Regards, Mr.Leung Cheung

Riiiiight...

From Mrs Susan Albert:

Mrs.Susan Albert. 31, Springfield Crescent, Camden Town, London, MH1 9NP, England.  Here writes Suzan Albert, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to Albert Bradly an Arabian who is dead. My husband was into private practice all his life before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three decades without a child. My husband died after a protracted illness. My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.  I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this relationship, which never came.  When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Two Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank here in UK. Presently, this money is still with the Bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family and i,  I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows,widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.  It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth.  I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband's hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision.  I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on.  It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband's relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband's hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision.  I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me.I do not want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.  As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of my attorney who will instruct you on how to contact the bank in UK. I will also issue you a Letter of Authority that will empower you as the original beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life.  Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to hear from you soon and God bless you and members of your family.  Send your response to my email address: mrs.suzanbradly@yahoo.com.hk  Yours Faithfully in Christ  Mrs. Susan AlbertBradly.


Uh-huh. God told me to hit *delete* on this one...

The next one was from Mrs. Judy at stikesayo@stikes-aisyiyah-jogja.ac.id

Our Ref: FGA /SNT/STB  This is to immediately inform you that your email address with MICROS ID (BKX-321AQ-5HR) has won you $750,000USD (Seven Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars) ; All beneficiaries were selected randomly from Wenzhou Ourvis online networks of Marketing lists Worldwide, Verify your datas; via email: (Mrs.Judy Walter via Email: morris_walterr@yahoo.com).  FULL NAMES / COUNTRY/ DIRECT PHONE NUMBER / OCCUPATION / AGE / SEX) MEANS OF IDENTIFICATION(SCANNED ID)/  You are to choose from the below options by ticking  1.) Courier Delivery Option [  ] 2.) Bank Wire Transfer [  ]  Congratulations


Interesting how the email address of origin is different from the email address she offers to contact her.

I'm not giving her my bank or address info. Guess I'll have to pass up the cash.

And last for today:

This is from yahoo@interest.com and they offer a reply to address of mrchinaboyanchaibkk2@yahoo.com.hk

Hong Kong And Shanghai Banking Corporation From: The Desk of Miss. Kim Ho . Managing Director,                RE: PAYMENT OF US$800,000.00 INTEREST INTO YOUR ACCOUNT:  I am Miss. Kim Ho , Managing Director, Corporate Services Division and Head of Swift Transfer Unit of Hong Kong And Shanghai Banking Corporation. Sometime ago, in our bank your inheritance fund was brought to our bank from National Lotto Group here in Asia and after some period, the money was taken back to their treasury. But for the period of time this money was in our bank, it generated an interest of US$800,000.00 which we are about to pay you Via International Certified Bank Draft  through our bank in Bangkok Thailand Asia. Hong Kong And Shanghai Banking Corporation. (HSBC) Bank Plc.  For your information and advice, you need to hasten up to pick this Fund because from time to time the National Lotto Group auditors do come to our bank to cross-check our files and our financial update, the earlier you comply with the demands of the delivery of the Draft the faster the action, because when the auditors arrive and find out that this interest fund is still in our bank they will call back the accrued interest to the lotto treasury account.  What we need from you now is any form of your identification for example; Your International passport or your driver license, your telephone and fax numbers for easy communication to you with your mailing address where this DRAFT/CHEQUE will be delivered.   As a matter of fact we don¦t have enough time to waste since we have wasted time in contacting you through phone, so try and comply with the entire necessary requirement for the transaction.  CONTACT:  Mr. China Boyanchai   E-Mail: mrchinaboyanchaibkk1@yahoo.com.hk  Tell: (+66) 823-430-482   Note I have attempted to call you but all effort failed and I had to send you a mail on this email address, which I guessed belongs to you. Expecting your immediately response.   Yours Sincerely,  Miss. Kim Ho  Managing Director. ********************************************************************* Hong Kong And Shanghai Banking Corporation. Asia. CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This transmission may contain confidential information protected by state or federal law. The information is intended only for use consistent with the state business discussed in this transmission. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or the taking of any action based on the contents is strictly prohibited. If you have received this transmission in error, please delete this email and notify the sender immediately. Your cooperation is appreciated. ********************************************************************* 


Wow. Who could have left me money in Hong Kong? Maybe is was Mrs. Judy, or Mrs. Susan's husband. I'll get right on it. :-D

Edited to add:

From info@freelotto.com, with a return address of freelottaclaims@hotmail.com

                                         FreeLotto©
Reference Numbers:FREE0985430UK
Serial Numbers :4589012 Winning Numbers :5-24-34-25-49-8-55
Ticket Numbers:1144 Amount Won :2,500,000.00GBP
File Number :EU4589L
If you wish to claim your winnings contact your assigned claims agent as follows
Name: Mr.John Peterson
Email:freelottaclaims@hotmail.com
You will receive further instructions on your acknowledgment of this email notice.
Send the Following information to commence the immediate processing of your
claims:
Your Full Names:
Your Age:
Nationality:
Country of Resident:
Privileged and confidential
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This message and any attachment thereto are confidential and may be privileged or otherwise protected from disclosure.
If you are not the intended recipient, please telephone or email the sender and delete this message and any attachment
from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you must not copy this message or attachment or disclose the
contents to any other person.



Gee, I won the lottery! And one I never entered!

Oops! I disclosed it! So sad...

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